


Sunflowers

by xxwrote_my_way_outxx



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Gay, Implied Smut, Laflams, M/M, Main Character Death, Multi, Poly Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:46:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxwrote_my_way_outxx/pseuds/xxwrote_my_way_outxx
Summary: The world felt right when John was nestled in between the French general and Washington’s favorite aide-de-camp, the freckled man exchanged or treated to both of them at once. The wily man was calm when he was tamed by the two other men, and he was more than loving when he was loved in return. He absolutely adored when they would be panting out soft coos and demands in French, though none were ever frantic or scared.They had enough time to be scared on the battlefield. This was their time to enjoy each other, and who was to say  that this was ever to happen again?The primary worry was always for John’s safety, and there was good reason.





	Sunflowers

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, yet again. Another story that was supposed to be smut but then ended up sad.  
> Grab your tissues and enjoy the show!  
> Leave a comment if you'd like!

The war was always tiring, and it felt like it never ceased, though sometimes, the three men found time to relax and enjoy themselves. Enjoy the world that they didn’t get to appreciate that often. 

The world felt right when John was nestled in between the French general and Washington’s favorite aide-de-camp, the freckled man exchanged or treated to both of them at once. The wily man was calm when he was tamed by the two other men, and he was more than loving when he was loved in return. He absolutely adored when they would be panting out soft coos and demands in French, though none were ever frantic or scared.  
They had enough time to be scared on the battlefield. This was their time to enjoy each other, and who was to say that this was ever to happen again?

The primary worry was always for John’s safety, and there was good reason. 

The man was incredibly proud and vivacious, and never backed down from a single thing in life besides his identity. Some thought him suicidal because of how adamant he was, and how ready he was to always get on his horse and ride. John was a man that had a goal in life, and that goal was incredibly radical for his time. Alexander didn’t even quite comprehend how he thought he was going to achieve it, but John reassured him he would be fine, and that his idea would be fine, but his eyes often betrayed anxiety. 

Lafayette would spend time trying to talk him out of being so rambunctious, whispering sweet French nothings in his ear and tried to coax him with kisses and promises that John knew wouldn’t last when the war ended and Laf had to go back to his wife. Alexander would try to say the same, though John knew he was betrothed, even though Alexander tried to convince them that they could still be together.  
John told them both that it was over after the war ended.

So they made the most of their time to make love in the sunflowered fields of the countryside, and the joke came around that John’s freckles looked like the specks inside of the bright flowers, and Alexander argued that they were like stars, and John said that they are insignificant, because John didn’t see himself as something of value. He knew that he was just a friend, a valuable friend that they could both spend their affection in before going off to their wives and being able to forget about them. But he smiled nevertheless. And he let them have their fun with him nevertheless, and let them sing a song of love in his ears as if they would make sure it was like this forever. It never would be. 

And in the midst of it all, when Alexander got married, John could never bring himself to sleep with the man again. The way that Elizabeth Schuyler smiled at him and loved him absolutely, even with her eyes, he decided that Alexander could never be his own again. And his heart shattered. 

And yet they still slept together after the wedding, and John felt empty while he was full of Alexander, and Alexander felt but was empty of faith.  
And when they got back to the battlefield, Lafayette announced that he was going to a new position with his troops and that this was farewell until their unbeknownst final battle. And the Frenchman kissed him so sweetly that he nearly feared the idea of dying, but when he saw the way that Laf still looked at him as only a friend he felt just as empty as he did when Alexander said that he was in love with him or when he was told that he likely wasn’t going to be able to achieve the goal for freedom. 

And without a second thought or a means to say goodbye, John left to fight for a goal that he would never achieve. He never achieved love from his father, he never achieved the ability to be a good father. He never achieved love. He couldn’t achieve freedom for his fellow people. 

The only thing he could achieve was being able to say that he tried.

And he tried for all of them. 

When Alexander opened up a letter from his favorite friend to see how he was fairing, Lafayette was doing the same as he sipped on some tea before waiting to debark back home. John would have been so excited to learn that the war was over. America won. They couldn’t wait to write.

But John was right, it was over after the war ended, and he made it clean. 

John Laurens had died doing what he had always dreamed of and achieved nothing out of it. He didn’t get to love. He didn’t get acceptance. He didn’t get to know that his fight had been won and that America was free, and he couldn’t free the rest of her people. 

Though his aspirations didn’t matter, because that wasn’t what people saw of him. 

Lafayette and Alexander just remembered the times they rolled in the sunflowers and made love, and warned John not to be as ambitious as he was. John laughed that beautiful laugh that he always had and Alexander kissed him and told him to promise him to be careful.

And he did.

And he lied. 

Just like they did when they said they were in love with him.

They were in love with the thought of him. 

And the sunflowers.


End file.
